Your Matchmaker says…Don’t Be the Booty Call Girl

JF FACEHilary is one of my Dream Clients – she’s 32, beautiful, accomplished, and sincerely seeking partnership, marriage, and family with an equally remarkable man. Here’s an example of why she’s one of my all time favorite clients.

I was thrilled to have the chance to introduce her to Glen, a successful, handsome, studly and oh-so-much-fun 36 year old attorney. He’s got plenty of the “it factor” that we’re seeking for her. Glen’s very charming, his dating life is full and active, he’s shared with me on several occasions his true desire to be in loving relationship, but he says he’s not yet found the right person to coax him off the dating treadmill. He’s sure that he’ll know her when he meets her.

Glen was completely wowed by Hilary’s profile and photos, and was thoroughly jazzed to meet her. But he really blew it by calling her for the first time at 9:45 on a Wednesday night, saying “Would you like to come over to my place tonight?” Hilary is a sophisticated, classy girl with Southern roots; she’s accustomed to being courted in a more traditional way, and she was offended and truly put off by his suggestion that she just pop on over to his place for a first meeting, late at night, midweek. She said it made her feel cheap and completely unspecial.

But how she handled it was so perfect – rather than coming back at him with a pissy, snooty, huffy or irritated tone or comment, she said in a sweet, playful voice, “Well, now let me see…If I were the Booty Call Girl, I might be open to that idea, but I like to think I’m more the type a man might want to Court and Keep. I’d say, let’s meet for a more traditional date over the weekend. If we flip for each other, then later on, we’ll see about that late night Booty Call.”

Hilary did two things really well – First off, she handled an awkward situation with grace, putting herself in a really favorable light, while keeping her options open with this particular man. If she’d snapped back in anger, she would have turned him off instantly, causing him to slink away like a wounded animal, killing off any possibility for a future connection. And secondly, she gently stood her ground, letting him know what kind of a girl she is, even planting the seed in his mind that she’s the kind of girl a smart man will want to keep. And the bonus gift she gave to him is a lesson in what NOT to do in his dating rituals.

Whether these two stick together or not, Hilary has helped Glen learn more about how to initiate a first date with a Nice Girl. It’s my hope that each encounter you have in your journey into relationship leaves both you and the other person better and stronger and smarter as a result.

Hilary and Glen are meeting for lunch on Sunday at the 3rd Street Promenade. I think it’ll be a great date. Nice job, Hillary!

About Julie

Julie Ferman is the Founder of Julie Ferman Associates. As a personal matchmaker, dating coach, media personality, professional speaker, dating industry consultant and events producer, her mission is to dignify and simplify the love search process for selective, relationship-minded professionals. Julie Ferman Associates provides personal matchmaking services and a full menu of dating coaching services to single men and women throughout the U.S. and Canada.

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