Transforming Dating, On Purpose

Julie Ferman’s Get-Your-Act-Together-For-Dating Boot Camp Gets the Job Done

I always wanted to do it. It took me over three decades to do it. Better late than never? Probably not – the class is so much better than it could possibly have been, had I created it 30, 20, even 10 years ago.

Last week at Las Campanas in Santa Fe, I had Chef Jake’s award-winning Green Chili Stew for lunch. And it was so fantastic that I had it again for dinner. WOW, it was REALLY kick-ass after having been simmering on the stove for an extra six hours. Not unlike the curriculum that makes up my Boot Camp.  So, I’ll forgive myself for not having created this course sooner. We’re ready when we’re ready.

I’ll share with you the rudiments of the curriculum, as well as the results I’m seeing in my Boot Camp participants, in just these first two 60-Day classes.

Week One. Rediscovering YOU. Loving YOU. We don’t “date” during the first month of Boot Camp. We fall in love with ourselves, in new ways. We can only allow another to love us to the degree that we already love ourselves. Who are “our people” and who are “not our people” ?? We take an honest look at our HABITS (good ones, not-so-good ones) and we look closely at modern day dating culture and our part in it.

Week Two. The Big Dig. Blind Spots, Missteps, Lessons Learned, AHA Moments. In what ways do we see others unknowingly setting themselves up for failure in dating? In what ways have WE been faltering? Where were our missteps? How can we set the people in our lives to WIN with us? We learn to ask for what we want and need – in ways that inspire others to happily provide it for us. We sort out Finances – The Money Trap.

Week Three. Clarifying, portraying, and articulating The Authentic You. How we describe ourselves in our dating / matchmaking profile. Imagery – the photos we use. What to reveal upfront, early on or later in the courtship process.

Week Four. Rethinking “Your Type” – Who’s a Natural Match for you? Who’s an Unnatural Match? We take an open-hearted, upfront look at Your Picker, we choose where to stretch and bend and where to be firm / unyielding in our search parameters.

Week Five. Social Magnetism, Developing our social / personal network. Attracting, Initiating, Causing Connection with “strangers” on purpose. Developing the courage to and the skill set to design and orchestrate our interactions with all kinds of people, in every area of life.

Week Six. Online Dating. If you’re going to do it, do it well. Wrestling with and developing counterintelligence in compensating for our unnatural match preferences. Distinguishing preferences from requirements and expanding our resiliency for the rapid waters that dating can be.

Week Seven. Communication – in what ways are we delightful, and in what ways are we difficult to communicate with? We learn how to say what we need to say and we practice sharing our truth, clarifying boundaries and holding our space.

Week Eight. Intimacy and Integration, Bringing Love, Being Love, taking responsibility for the love that we experience, offer, and create in our lives. We are no longer LOOKING for love. We ARE love, we bring it, we’re the source of love in our lives and in the world at large.

To reserve your spot in an upcoming Boot Camp Class:


Boot Camp Testimonials:

“I am getting so much out of this Boot Camp. You have structured it in a very clever, user-friendly way, and I must say — you’re SUCH an excellent educator!”

“I LOVE the Thursday Evening and Friday morning live group Office Hours Zoom gatherings, and I’m blown away by the amount of personal time you’re sharing with me, in our private consultations and your weekly emails – always personal, thoughtful, insightful and so supportive. I’m actually excited about dating for the first time in years.”

“The guest interviews you’re sharing with us — they really have me diving deep. I see myself having realizations that were hidden in plain sight. Women are less of a mystery – the open-hearted sharing during our group calls has been such a gift.”

“The questions you are asking are SO relevant to this thing we call “modern dating”.   From my perspective, I see that the questions you ask in the weekly assignment worksheets – they are quite profound. Many “Aha” moments for me, as I see patterns in speech and behavior that are begging for the light of day! So much is becoming clear.”

“You are channeling very inspiring love energy! Thank you for creating this class; I imagine that if I’d had the chance to take this class in school, I would have made MUCH better choices. This personal and group experience has expanded my awareness, confidence, and empathy in dating and in life.”

“I want to thank you for this amazing program. I have listened to all of the weekly lessons and the guest interviews and I’ve thoughtfully completed all of the worksheets you’ve shared. I want to express my appreciation.  Everything about this course material is helpful and very impressive.  I have done so much self-development and psych training over the years, and I think what you have put together is truly remarkable!”

“I am just loving this bootcamp.  You are so holistically knowledgeable and inspiring for me.”


“With Boot Camp I am starting to become a fully self-actualized, has-his-shit-together Dude! My eyes are wide open and I see possibilities and opportunities that I’ve never seen before.”


“Boot Camp is akin to the Best of Julie Ferman. Three reasons it worked for me: 1) Boot Camp helped to frame where I am and who I am, very different than six months ago; 2) Boot Camp helped me to fine tune who I am looking for and filter out unrealistic expectations; 3) The weekly “office” hours is a great example of iron sharpening iron and created a nice bond with the other classmates. I have made good friends here, and we’ll be staying in touch. I’m pairing up with a fellow classmate to co-create our first event together.  Awesome. “


“A greater ability to be true to myself, to have patience and the willingness to be in suspense, as to who my “future partner” will be, learning not rush or push things to get past singleness. Fully engaging in the whole process of doing dating well, vs. looking to get to the end result.  The skills we’re building in this class (communication especially) will serve us well in the relationships that are in our future.”


I feel like now I have permission to “date” and kick the tires, try on hats, knowing what the ground rules are and the strategies for success.  I feel like now, as a result of the course, I am in a better position to date because of a better grasp of who I am and what I am (and am not) looking for, what’s a must-have requirement and what’s a mere preference.”


“The beautiful, expansive relationship I’m experiencing now is a direct result of the beautiful work we did together in this Boot Camp. Thank you for the gift that the class is.”


How to get better dating results? How to ENJOY the dating process?

By studying it, engaging fully in the discovery of what dating looks like today and how we can not just survive it, but THRIVE throughout the process of trying on hats, which is really all that dating is.

The Formula for Doing Dating Well in today’s wild world

Get Real, Get Clear

About what LOVE truly is

Develop The Plan

THEN try on hats

Then choose

With eyes wide open

To love and to be loved

And to BE love and to PRACTICE the fine art of making love, all along the journey.

This is how we make the world a better place

THROUGH the process of Doing Dating Well


Are YOU ready to Get-Your-Act-Together-For-Dating?

To reserve your spot in an upcoming Boot Camp Class:



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