Jack and Liana in Santa Fe. Personifying the spirit of Valentine’s Day.
Yep, you read that right. Jack and Liana are Number 1,212 – Gil and I started keeping track of Success Story Couples way back in 1990. Love happens. All the time!!
Here’s what I see as special about Jack and Liana’s new partnership.
Distance? No problem. How long does it take to drive from Liana’s home to Jack’s home? 20 hours. Right, not 20 minutes… 20 HOURS.
Her Wounded Heart? Liana had lost the “love of her life” to cancer. Introverted and introspective by nature, thoroughly isolated in a tiny little remote ocean community in Northern CA, Liana wondered how she’d ever meet and connect with a man for another chance at love. She wondered if (and worried that) those days of romance and thrilling intimacy were over for her.
His Wounded Heart. Jack’s been through divorce, heartache, disappointment and the roller coaster ride that is modern day dating. Yet he didn’t let his heart crust over; he challenged himself in therapy, through growth-oriented workshops, reading, podcasts and … dating. Plenty of dating. He’s had some comical mishaps through the years, as well as some delightful relationships, yet none had managed to STICK for the long haul. He maintained optimism, faith and hope that there would be someone out there for him, and that he might be right for some other someone, somehow, at some time in what sometimes felt like a distant and uncertain future.
Jack’s Risk: He hired me to be his personal matchmaker. Just prior to Valentine’s Day 2018, he spotted this front page story in his local paper https://www.santafenewmexican.com/life/features/matchmaker-brings-her-talents-to-santa-fe/article_33e39b2c-a4c0-5963-81f0-e5f8c03a1df7.html
and he jumped into my Hot Seat as my matchmaking client. He has been the perfect client – he’s found value and beauty in each person he has had the chance to meet. He’s made friends all along the way. He brought sincerity, presence and enthusiasm to each of his first dates. His post-date feedback? Stellar, on both sides, consistently. He’s been a dream client to have.
Liana’s Risk: She invested in a personal consultation with me, over lunch last summer. Can I promise introductions at this level? No. And yet her having met with me for an in-depth interview and a quick, fun photo shoot, she bumped up to a very powerful place in my date-a-base. When referring potential candidates to a matchmaking client, I’ll always refer first and with great confidence both those who’ve been matchmaking clients with me and those who’ve met with me for that detailed personal consultation. Smart girl, Liana is. Because she DID meet with me, when she happened to be in Santa Fe for a visit, she got to have a lunch date the very next day with my client, Jack. They both tried on the hat and that hat fit quite nicely for them both.
Shared Risk: Even after just one lunch date, these two were self-aware and fully present to create enough of a connection, sufficient attraction and a willingness on both their parts to explore possibilities together. And so they stayed in touch.
It’s a WHOLE lot easier for people who are out there dating to keep swiping, discarding and vetoing potential candidates than it is to pause, to stop, to invest in the immediate moment, the present opportunity, the real live human being sitting right across the table.
Jack and Liana allowed a possibility to spark on that lunch date, and they each did their part to fan that sweet little flame that had a chance of igniting that day. And over that stretch of six months and 1248 miles, they have indeed created new love together. It’s bonfire size at the moment!
Grown Up Love: My favorite kind of love – when two mature adults meet and connect, consciously choosing to co-create a modern-day partnership in an eyes-wide-open, hearts-wide-open fashion. Love for these two is not naïve; they know too much. They’ve seen and experienced the very real challenges and rough patches that come with romantic love. They know what they’re getting into, and they’re going for it anyway. Or perhaps they’re going for it because of the challenges that lie ahead. They know that there are elements in a well lived life that can only be experienced through a co-created partnership.
Courage and Trust. These two are closing on a house this week. They’re buying it together. That distance problem? Solved !!
Here’s to new love. For Liana and Jack, and for you – keep the faith, folks!
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