Should He Ask to Kiss her, or Should He Go For It?

Julie-Ferman-Photo-heart_webYour Los Angeles Matchmaker’s Dating Question of the Day: When a guy’s on a date with a girl he likes, should he ask if it’s OK to go in for the first kiss, or should he just go for it?

On the Big Screen, the first kiss is always magical, dreamy, perfect, natural and explosive. I’m pretty sure Rhett Butler didn’t ask Scarlett, he just told her that she needed to be kissed, and often, and he just put his arm around her waist and pulled her in for the kiss she’d never forget.

But in the real world, on a first date that’s going well, when he likes her and the urge strikes him to plant that first kiss, but he can’t quite read her body language (and he doesn’t want to get slapped or turn her off), what’s a guy to do?  Here’s how he’ll know if the water is safe to go in for that first kiss.

1. Be discreet.

There are women who are quite affectionate, but who need privacy. Kissing this woman in public? Not smart. Wait for a quiet moment when it’s just the two of you.  You might take a walk together to find a quiet spot, you might walk her to her car. Pick someplace that’s not on the street, or in front of the valet guy.

2. Check the intimacy meter.

Is there electricity between you? Is the romantic tension building? Is there a natural flow of conversation? Is she leaning in toward you, or at least matching your body language when you move toward her?

3. Test the water first.

Does she respond favorably when you move closer to her? When you take her hand or touch her hair, while telling her how great her hair smells or how soft her skin is?

The way I see it, if all of these elements are in place, then the kiss should ideally happen naturally, spontaneously, as your eyes travel from her eyes to her lips and back again, and if she’s smiling – not pulling back or tensing up – then you should have your green light. If you’re just not sure, you can always ask, “What would you do if I kissed you right now?”  Unless you’ve misread her completely, she’ll likely say, “I’d kiss you back.”

What do YOU think?  Email me or comment. Never a dull topic.

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About Julie

Julie Ferman is the Founder of Julie Ferman Associates. As a personal matchmaker, dating coach, media personality, professional speaker, dating industry consultant and events producer, her mission is to dignify and simplify the love search process for selective, relationship-minded professionals. Julie Ferman Associates provides personal matchmaking services and a full menu of dating coaching services to single men and women throughout the U.S. and Canada.

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