Matchmaker’s Success Strategy Revealed: The Distance Issue…

JF FACELots of emails and coaching calls this week with clients struggling with a common dating hurdle — The Distance Issue.

Jerri is a gorgeous CPA in Newport Beach, at the top of her game in every regard, and she’s hesitating about meeting her new Suitor, a studly, successful, and also super selective CEO in Sherman Oaks, as she’d much prefer to fall in love with a local Orange County man (she’s declined invitations from plenty of her closer-by suitors for other reasons — height, hair, education level, or simply a lack of attraction on her part)  I say…well…in the absense of the ideal local suitor, absolutely, give Mr. Hour Away a shot.  Meet half-way and see if there’s enough magnetism to merit a second date.

Case in point: Jim and Laura are both personal matchmaking Clients, actively engaged in the dating process, both sincerely seeking life long love.  Jim’s search was interrupted mid-stream as he was called to Louisiana for an extended work project.  Yet there were so many reasons why I wanted him to meet Laura, who lives near his California home in Ventura County.  They both wondered if the distance would be an issue, but they both said Yes to meeting.  Jim and Laura had such a powerful connection on their first date (Jim planned a visit back home just to meet her) that they nurtured and developed a gorgeous love connection via emails, texts, phone calls, and Skype dates.  The two of them are beaming with enthusiasm over the news they shared with me this week — she’s moving to Louisiana to be with him and is interviewing with prospective employers in his local community at this very moment.

Another of our clients who also had a strong preference for dating a local man, has been in a magical relationship with a magnificent university professor with whom she connected on a business trip in Milwaukee.  Yep, a California/Wisconsin love affair.  Both of them have grown kiddos and they spend many a weekend on creative rendezvous adventures in cities and vacation destinations they’ve always wanted to explore.  They’ve commented on how lovely it’s been to develop relationship the “old fashioned way” through juicy love letters and daring question/answer e-mail probes, which have served for them as heart openers, reportedly.

What these two enormously happy couples have demonstrated is the power of flexibility and outside the 20-mile perimeter thinking.  I say, in the absense of the ideal candidate living next-door, absoulutely, stretch your boundaries, and see what kind of possibilities present themselves.


About Julie

Julie Ferman is the Founder of Julie Ferman Associates. As a personal matchmaker, dating coach, media personality, professional speaker, dating industry consultant and events producer, her mission is to dignify and simplify the love search process for selective, relationship-minded professionals. Julie Ferman Associates provides personal matchmaking services and a full menu of dating coaching services to single men and women throughout the U.S. and Canada.

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2 Responses to Matchmaker’s Success Strategy Revealed: The Distance Issue…

  1. Danae April 13, 2010 at 5:01 pm #

    You always open my mind for new possibilities and flexibility.

    Thank you.

  2. Fred Gansky April 10, 2010 at 8:37 pm #

    I’ve been a big proponent of stretching our boundaries in regards to finding a potential mate. My friends would sarcastically say that’s because I’ve dated everyone within 50 miles. I just dramatically contend that at this stage of my life I won’t be hampered by the boundaries of my city, state, or even my country to find the one woman I might want to spend the rest of my life with. Pragmatically though, the further someone is from me, the more special they must appear. Simply said, the more distance, money, effort, inconvenience I might need to invest, the more enthusiastic I need to be. So, there is some logic here.

    Long distance relationships are not for everyone. But, it does open up the potential pool of prospects exponencially…and that’s very appealing, at least to me, especially at this juncture.

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