Is Dating Bumming You Out? Here’s a Spirit Lifter

dating disappointmentsDating is full of little hiccups and disappointments. Not unlike other types of searches — the search for the right job, a new home or car. But the search for love is more personal, and while it’s a good idea not to take the misses or the rejection personally, sometimes the disappointments can and do weigh heavy on the heart. It’s a conundrum — your heart wants to love, and without access to a partner to “love on” daily, we can become isolated and out of touch with people…and with ourselves too.

Here’s my instant remedy for pulling myself out of the dumps. It works like magic for me, and I’ll be very interested to hear if it works for you too.

When you’re having a case of the Poor Me’s, take a break from your schedule today, to spend an hour focused on nothing but lifting spirits. And keep track. How many smiles can you generate? Yes, that’s right, you’re going to count the number of smiles you can bring to the faces of both loved ones and “strangers” out there in your world.

The grumpy teenage barrister who’s detached and yawning through the process of asking you what kind of coffee you want — yes, that person… what does it take to bring a smile to her face?

The toddler who’s anxious and impatient in the shopping cart, a tantrum brewing just under the surface — Can you create the sweet, playful distraction that will bring forth the giggle rather than the tortured scream?

The sweet little old lady who’s looking alone and sad — oh yes, please do bring a smile to her face.

Here’s what happens, every time I do this. I quickly forget my problems,or they’re put into perspective, as part of the human experience. And what gets me out of my slump is always the gorgeous, lovely experience of connecting with another human, even for just that moment.

And while you’re focused on lifting the spirits of each person you touch during your hour of adventurous human interaction, you are also perfecting your flirting skills.

Asking a question, offering a compliment, or making a casual comment about anything, with a total “stranger” — this is flirting, and if you practice this spirit lifting exercise on a daily basis, and surely when you’re feeling down, you will see a shift.

Share your AHA moments with me, your dating coach here — what happened for you today, when bringing smiles to the faces of the gorgeous humans who were within your reach?

About Julie

Julie Ferman is the Founder of Julie Ferman Associates. As a personal matchmaker, dating coach, media personality, professional speaker, dating industry consultant and events producer, her mission is to dignify and simplify the love search process for selective, relationship-minded professionals. Julie Ferman Associates provides personal matchmaking services and a full menu of dating coaching services to single men and women throughout the U.S. and Canada.

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