Are you a new couple? What to do with that wagon wheel coffee table?
Many a new couple has faced this age old dilemma, and I’m guessing most of you remember the classic Wagon Wheel Coffee Table scene from “When Harry Met Sally”.
Hubby, Gil and I have been married since 1990, and still today we are often in disagreement over how to manage our investments, how to spend (or not spend) our money, how to best support and discipline our two boys, and over all kinds of wagon wheel coffee table issues.
Currently, Gil and I are immersed in an ongoing discussion over the type of artwork we should have over our couch in our newly remodeled den. We have agreed that it should be a California landscape, and yet even after hours and hours of research online and dozens of visits to art fairs and galleries, we have not aligned on The Piece yet.
(Care to weigh in on the decision?)
The beautiful thing about this disagreement we have about whose artwork to purchase is that we aren’t arguing over it. We’re wrestling with each other over it, we’re laughing about it, we’re exercising patience, and we’re finding that we’re able to just kind of sit with the uncertainty of it while we keep looking for the piece we can both be excited about purchasing.
We’ll be redoing our kitchen next year too, and there will be lots of design decisions we’ll have to align on, not to mention the question of who pays for what, out of which bank account – the financial issue alone, in past years would have sent us to the therapist’s couch, but I’m confident and excited about the adventure that it will be for us to create this new kitchen together.
The honest to goodness truth is that Gil and I would very likely not be married today if it hadn’t been for the courageous decision we made to attend a weekend workshop on partnership with Alison Armstrong, during a particularly challenging chapter of our marriage some years back.
Through studying with Alison Armstrong, Gil and I learned about the art of deal making… and we learned about and practiced together the art of communicating with each other. That partnership workshop saved our marriage. And we use the tools we learned every day of our lives. And it’s available for you too, here.
If you haven’t already, run, don’t walk to study with Alison, who is my absolute favorite relationship guru. Whether you are in a relationship or dating with the intent to create a beautiful partnership, the solutions to today’s most challenging gender issues, dating dilemmas and relationship traps are all covered somewhere within her body of work. Where to start? For women: It’s here and for men: visit the page.
The troubles we have in our relationships are usually really and truly never about “the coffee table” – and taking the time to learn how to love more fully and to communicate with greater skill and expertise can only be a blessing and a benefit to your daily life and to each of your treasured relationships.
The most powerful thing you can do, to enrich your relationship or to better your odds of creating a beautiful relationship for yourself is to continually strive to become the best version of you possible. Challenge yourself to question your understanding of who you are, of what you need and want, make the conscious choice to grow and to evolve as the unique expression of human spirit that you are. Enjoy the journey, every day of it, every moment of it, with childlike wonder and endless curiosity.
If you’re available for dating and haven’t yet done so, register privately with me, for free, to be eligible for personal matchmaking referrals throughout the U.S., Canada and beyond.